Many couples say there are certain differences that will always cause problems in their relationship. This article presents a way for you to approach a troubling issue and finally find a solution.

Posted by BYWD’s Premarital Counsellor – Julie Coleman

After presenting your positive reason for talking to someone, don’t fall into the trap of presenting your side of the issue. Instead, begin by asking him or her “the amazing problem solving question.” The power of this question is that it gently directs people to think in ways that are helpful for solving the issue at hand. In addition, by asking the person you’re dealing with to solve the problem, it prevents the two of you from bickering and establishes your sincerity in looking for a solution. The question is, “Considering my needs and desires with this issue, what do you propose might be a compromise that would work for both of us?”

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Whether or not your love language is touch, it’s still important to feel that form of human connection.

Julie Coleman, Premarital Councillor for BYWD posts -

All animals have a profound sense of touch. Sponges, tapeworms, insect-eating plants live mainly by touch. A woodpecker uses its tongue to find insects; penguins must touch to survive — the babies stand on their parents’ feet and press close to their warm bellies. Watch a house cat rub and wrap itself around its owner’s leg. Observe a dog squirming with pleasure when it gets its stomach scratched, or its ears stroked.

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What an amazing, romantic story!

Posted by Julie Coleman of BYWD Premarital Counselling -

It was 1969. He had been in Vietnam for 10 months. On his seventh day in the country, he saw a woman drop hand grenades on his two best friends. Every day since, he had learned to hate a little more. Even the slightest recognition of humanity — his own or anyone else’s — could interfere with his work. Kevin’s job was to get information, to find out where the Viet Cong were located, and to kill them. And the young Marine from Washington was very good at his job.

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Quick and amazing tips for men and women! Learn what your partner really wants to hear….

Posted by Julie Coleman, premarital counsellor -

Simply put, most women want to be heard, listened to and have their ideas, concerns and emotions validated rather than fixed. Most men, on the other hand, want to give and receive advice about how to fix, change or remove bothersome problems or feelings. Men want to be seen and appreciated for taking out the garbage and not have it taken for granted. They instinctively feel it’s their job to know and be right about the laws of nature, the universe and the oil levels in the car.

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Whether with a spouse, your family, or friends, here are three simple rules for making your relationships stronger and more fulfilling.

Posted By BYWD Premarital counselling’s Julie Colman -

Get to know what other people require in relationships. What exactly do they expect of you? Can you do that? Do you want to? Where can each of you compromise, and what’s non-negotiable? We advise people in all sorts of relationships–partnerships, families (kids included) and corporations–to write down their needs, discuss them and review them regularly.

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After months of planning and preparation, you might feel a little let down once The Big Day is over. Here are some tips that can help.

Julie Coleman, premarital counsellor posts -

Throw a post-wedding BBQ or cocktail party for immediate family members and select friends when your wedding pictures and video are ready. Show the video and hand out photos from the wedding. For fun, have each person write or tell a fun story related to the time before or after the wedding or even the wedding day—something they personally experienced or observed. Family gatherings, tuxedo fittings and other wedding preparations have long been a source of great humorous recollections. Let everyone who will attend this party in advance; you want them to prepare a written or oral story to present. Expect some will be hysterical and others will be touching. You’re sure to discover great anecdotes of which you had no idea. What a nice way to look back with the people who will continue to be important in your new life.

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Get your sweetie a box of chocolates, and go see a funny movie! It’ll be good for your heart in more ways than one.

Julie Coleman of BYWD Premarital Counselling posts -

“The magnitude of change we saw in the endothelium after laughing was consistent and similar to the benefit we might see with aerobic exercise or statin use,” Dr. Miller said in the release, explaining that a hardy laugh could be part of an overall healthy lifestyle. “In other words, eat your veggies, exercise and get a good belly laugh every day.”

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If you’re happy on your own, you’re much more likely to be happy as part of a couple.

Posted by Julie Coleman, BYWD’s councillor.

Happiness comes from within. Being content requires living from within, putting more focus on personal values, and loving others. Happiness is more about internal qualities than external stuff. It’s more about inclusion than separation. Happiness isn’t something you search for or go after, it’s a moment by moment decision you make.

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Couples frequently lament how little time they get to spend together. This article has some great advice about the importance of being in the moment together, not trying to change things, and just enjoying each others’ company. Those “little” things can really mean a lot!

Julie Coleman, Marriage Counsellor posts -

The biggest life changing relaxation method you can cultivate is letting things be as they are. When we embrace ourselves with all of our imperfections, we have an internal barometer and capacity to offer that to the people we love. Probably the single most consistent destroyer of relationships is the tension that builds by demanding it to be what you think it should be, rather than learning to love what it is. There are millions of ways that this non-acceptance plays itself out in every marriage. It often begins within us.

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Do you and your partner have the same fights over and over? Learn what’s at the root of your conflict (what needs aren’t being met?) and how to communicate more directly and with less emotion in order to quell your disagreements. Contact me for more info about the Prepare/Enrich program at BeforeYourWeddingDay.com!

Posted By Julie Coleman – Premarital Counsellor

From the You Think You’re So Smart’s to the My Mother Was Right About You’s, these two actors reenact practically every fight you’ve ever had with your significant other in a little under two minutes.

Watch the Video here